Archive for the ‘Scare Quote Watch’ Category
Billy’s Hallowell’s latest piece on Big Hollywood is notable for 1) the sheer level of outrage he’s able to reach over freakin’ Gossip Girl and 2) word-choice so bizarre I can only assume that what ended up on BH’s website is Hallowell’s original post run through MS Word’s thesaurus.
Threesomes are Hollywood’s latest obsession. Within weeks of the release of Britney Spears’ asinine “Ballad” about engaging in a menagerie, CW leaked details about a threesome they were planning on the hit show Gossip Girl. In what could easily be confused as part of a massive Hollywood-led campaign in support of teen pregnancy and a wide array of sexually transmitted diseases, CW decided that exploiting filth for a heavy cash flow was more important that exercising common sense and decency. Surprise!
Ah, the menagerie. That place in TVland where the most elusive of creatures is kept: the teenage Hollywood starlet lipstick lesbian. In Gossip Girl’s menagerie, she frolics alongside a poor starving Brooklyn playwright who lives with his post-grunge one-hit-wonder father, and an industrialist heir who tried to rape a 14 year-old in the pilot, but is sensitive now.
Oh, wait, I don’t think that’s what he meant by “menagerie.”
I’m pretty sure that if you “easily confuse” three separate, on-screen kisses (which is what was shown on Gossip Girl) for “a massive Hollywood-led campaign in support of teen pregnancy and a wide array of sexually transmitted diseases,” you are probably too easily confused to turn on your television anyhow. Also, the previous episode featured a plotline where paparazzi published a picture of Duff’s character (a Hollywood starlet) taking free condoms from the student health center. I know Hallowell probably believes that condoms are murder, but still.
The only thing more grotesque than CW’s exploitation of a threesome for ratings is the media’s coverage of the menage a trois. In a recent article, Michael Ausiello (Entertainment Weekly) was ecstatic over the impending sex scene – so excited that he taunted readers with his foreknowledgetelling them, “Though my Gossip mole has asked that I not ID the threesome (on the grounds that it would ruin a major upcoming storyline, or some such nonsense), I can confirm that the kinky tryst will involve one of the following combos…” Ausiello then proceeds to list possible character combos.
Then – no joke – readers (many of whom were not at all phased by the show’s indecency) began commenting about who they thought would be involved! Insanity.
Insanity! Get this you guys: fans of a television show actually speculated on an upcoming major plotline. On the internet! I’m pretty sure that was one of the Seven Seals.
What does Hallowell expect that comment thread to look like? Resounding condemnation of the CW or the show? Er… actually that comment thread does contain a lot of that.
Gossip Girl is so lame and desperate for ratings.(**rollseyes**)
There’s six replies to this post agreeing with it, and more similar posts downthread. But mostly I bring it up because a random Entertainment Weekly website commentator who uses expressions like “(**rollseyes**) had a much more sane, measured response than Hallowell.
Are these really the values our society has adopted as “the norm”? In 2006, alone, teen pregnancy increased significantly in 26 states. Liberals would blame this on “abstinence-only education,” while I’d blame a sizable portion of it on a society that continues to exploit sex for financial gain. Can we really expect people, young and old alike, to respect or even understand sex when threesomes and other unrealistic sexual messaging invade our lives at every corner? Let’s get real.
Dude, it’s not like this was pterodactyl porn or something. I’ve no doubt that drunken, ill-advised threesomes are a more common occurence than many things depicted on television. For instance, here’s a plot description from an episode of Big Hollywood‘s beloved NCIS:
NCIS is targeted to investigate a series of murders by a serial killer who posts videos of the crimes on the internet. The first two victims have scrolls with links to websites of videos of their murders along with cryptic pictures spliced in. After a third video is posted, a live stream from inside NCIS, a suspect is brought in but dies in Interrogation. Video of the death ends up on the web linking the crimes to a female singer. NCIS storms a garage but Gibbs realizes that it was a setup for them to kill the singer and a man who she appears to have captive at gunpoint is the real killer. Gibbs is given a Civil Service Award but is a no-show and Tony stands in to accept the award on his behalf.
Also, the (3%) rise in teen pregnancy is mainly due to increased fertility and (oh noes I’m a LIBERAL) abstinence only education. I mean, it should be pretty obvious that whether someone has access to a condom and knows how to use it or not will have a greater effect on whether or not she gets pregnant than if she saw three people kiss instead of two on TV.
The entire premise of using a threesome to drive ratings came full circle when E! Online reported CW’s reward for exploiting sexual incongruence for the sake of the almighty dollar.
The first time I read this, I nearly did a spit take at “sexual incongruence.” Is that, like, when you’re trying to do it standing up and your genitals don’t match up right? Or would Gossip Girl have been in the clear if D and V and a certain Hollywood starlet had added a fourth?
And what a disappointment Hilary Duff is. Joining the cast of one of television’s most trash-ridden shows appears to be a half-witted attempt to shed the “good girl” image she’s yielded over the years.
Aw shit, Hilary Duff. Billy Hallowell’s not mad, he just disappointed in you. I hope you’re duly chastened. He liked you fine when you were a precocious preteen sensation, but now you’re 22 and you kissed another girl on-screen. You just gave a couple hundred pregnant 12 year-olds the clap, Hilary Duff. I hope you’re proud of yourself.
John Nolte is upset about an upcoming film portraying a veteran with PTSD.
Leftist Hollywood loathes everything the American Military stands for: Honor, patriotism, selflessness and masculinity. Openly trashing the troops backfired decades ago, so the tactics had to change. Today, “support” for the troops is reflected in film after film after film stereotyping America’s best and brightest as victims, dupes, head cases and monsters.
Since 2003, more members of the armed services have been diagnosed (by the military itself) with PTSD than have been killed or wounded. So, you know, a movie that shows a veteran with PTSD shows something more likely to happen than a movie that shows a member of the armed services being killed in combat.
But wait! Nolte has anticipated this criticism!
Sure, each individual film might be defensible in some way as “factual” or “realistic,” but you have to look at the cumulative effect of the same “factual” and “realistic” focus pumped into theatres again and again and again…
Now, I’m known for giving Big Hollywood writers shit about their near-constant use of scare-quotes, but this might be the most hilarious instance yet.
You liberals, with your “reality” and your “facts”! What kind of pinko propaganda uses “facts” to portray “reality”????
If Stephen Colbert read the above quote on his show you’d accuse him of being over-the-top.
Since screwing his fellow conservatives over by wresting Roger L. Simon’s money from them (I know that’s two in a row, but I never get sick of linking to that one!), Alfonso Rachel has actually been very judicious with his use of air-scare-quotes, though you can tell in this clip that he’s just dying to use them during his TOTALLY FAIR paraphrasing of an abortion-rights advocate.
I must say though, Rachel gets points for honesty, with his admission that the only actual basis for his opposition to abortion rights is religious in nature. His argument for outlawing abortion rests on his claim that America has been, since its founding, a religious nation (Rachel alternates between describing it as “Judeo-Christian” and just straight-up “Christian”). So yay theocracy! I guess?
Since I am too tired to re-hash the history of the establishment clause and early establishment clause jurisprudence (I mean, it’s 2009. The least you can do is read the Wikipedia article about something before you start running your mouth, dude), I’ll take a different angle.
I’d be interested to hear Rachel’s thoughts on the broader implications of this argument. We’re a Christian nation! The founders were Christian! Should divorce be illegal? What should the prison sentence be for adultery? How often should people like Rachel be forced to re-read the various bits in Matthew condemning the hypocrisy of the Pharisees? Discuss!
As regular readers know, Alfonzo Rachel’s normal MO is to attack strawliberals by putting things no liberal has actually said in scare quotes (ie, I can’t believe that YOU LIBERALS are always saying “babies are delicious”). But this time, he’s on some serious next-level shit.
First, he says that any Republican who thinks the party should “ease up on the whole Christian thing,” ought to go be a Democrat. Awesome! We’ll be glad to have them! I know there are at least a couple atheists/agnostics on Big Hollywood‘s (metaphorical) payroll. To them I say: You can sign up for your Kos diaries here.
Things really get rolling, though, when Rachel argues, I shit you not, that Barack Obama’s service program is really a plot to get Americans to perform slave labor for the Chinese. It makes about as much sense as it sounds, but his argument has something to do with the fact that the U.S. dollar is a fiat currency. Rachel claims that means it’s backed by “services” (as opposed to gold). Since we’re in debt to the Chinese, that means we owe them services. And Barack Obama’s call for a “service program” is just a liiiiiiittle too coincidental, see?
I know I don’t really have to point this out, as it’s so baldly stupid, but it is simply untrue that China could demand the debt be repaid in the “services” of American citizens, given that A) that’s not how fiat currency actually works, and B) even if it were, the portion of the debt owned by the Chinese is in the form of Treasuries. The real danger is that the Chinese and/or Japanese Central Banks would suddenly stop buying or start selling off dollar-backed securities like Treasuries, which would lead to a sharp decline in the dollar, and the attendant economic problems.
I’m sure Ron Paul is jealous, though. Obama secretly scheming to enslave the American people to the Chinese is a conspiracy theory for the ages, for sure. I, for one, welcome our new overlords. I’m looking forward to working in a Chinese forced-labor mine on the Moon. Beats my office job.
I like how the language of modern conservatism is starting to sound more and more like LOLspeak:
A few days ago I wrote an article to post at Big Hollywood, which was motivated in part by my reaction to watching the video of Jamean Garofalo, who recently appeared as a guest on Meek Olberdogg’s ‘Putdown’ Show. Clearly, she struck a nerve in me. Making outrageous statements, she accused thousands of men and women, who participated in the recent Tea Party events, as being racist. Quote: “This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.” Even for Ms. Garofalo this had to be a new low. To steal a ripe response from Mr. One Pissed Off Dude himself, Gary Graham, let me just say, “FTS.”
“Meek Olberdogg”? I’m no Olbermann booster, but that is some weak shit right there.