Movin My Hips Like Yeah
In one of the more double-take inducing headlines Big Hollywood has published in a while, Brian Cherry asks the question most vital to a politically polarized nation facing an economic recession and two foreign wars:
Remember the Maines: Is Miley Cyrus the Next Leftist Trojan Horse Into Country Music?
This is a freakin koan if I’ve ever seen one. How does one answer this question? “No”? “Yes”? Neither reply seems to make much sense. The best answer I can come up with is “Are your parents cousins or something?” but I always shy away from answering a question with a question.
Now, I’m so old that I can remember way back to May of 2009, when Big Hollywood editor-in-chief John Nolte was trying to rally good Christian soldiers around the banner of Ms. Montana:
Miley’s a target-rich environment for celebrity enforcers because she’s openly opposed to the spread of Gomorrah and therefore a threat who must be marginalized through ridicule at every opportunity.
What, pray tell, could Miley have possibly done in the last 11 months to have gone from conservative Christianity’s last bulwark against Hollywood excess to diabolical leftist sleeper agent?
Liberals failed miserably when they tried to take over the talk radio industry with Air America. It reminded me a lot of the time that Pearl Jam took on Ticketmaster, which in turn reminded me a lot of a bowl of jell-o taking on a herd of wildebeests. The left can’t compete in the Christian market. Let’s face it, the folks who declare Robert Mapplethorpe “art” simply have no credibility in that particular market. With that said, Country is a family friendly format they still think they have a chance of corrupting, and Miley Cyrus may be their perky little Trojan horse into that industry.
You mean a pop star might have a manufactured persona? This is worse than I thought. Pray for Toby Keith, my friends. But wait, what actual evidence is there that Cyrus might be insincere in her publicly stated Christian beliefs?
A good example of her more questionable behavior is that she was involved in a scandal that included some pictures she took of herself with her camera phone. Her actions bordered on sexting, and she was involved with this before she was old enough to bug her dad for the keys to the pickup. The photos were pictures of her in her underwear, wetting herself down in a shower wearing only a white t-shirt, and lounging in the arms of boy in what appeared to be a sort of early teen afterglow. Of course she apologized, but apparently didn’t learn anything from the incidents. Soon after she, and her parents, allowed her to be photographed for Vanity Fair magazine in a manner that would suggest her core audience was a rampaging pack of pedophiles. Once again, she apologized.
When that whole Vanity Fair thing went down, I just assumed it was an entirely media-generated controversy designed to sell copies of US Weekly and get Perez Hilton and TMZ page views whenever some perv googles “Miley Cyrus sexy” for the rest of eternity, and that no sentient human being could actually be offended by those photos. Thanks for sorting me out Brian Cherry!
You know, if Cherry really thinks that all it takes to negate the conservative movement’s cultural influence and threaten its institutions is a teenage girl’s bare shoulder, he might want to consider betting on a different horse.
But the fact that Miley Cyrus is human female with a human female body that sometimes gets photographed isn’t his only evidence against her. Behold:
While Miley is portrayed as type who can be found in Church on any given Sunday morning, she is even moving away from the official religion of the entire industry, and experimenting with Buddhism. When talking about her religious beliefs, Miley put herself out of step with the core country audience when she made this statement:
“The one thing I’m really strong about regarding my religious beliefs is that you should know a little bit about everything before you define your own beliefs. I think all religions have a good practice in them. Liam and I have been reading about Buddhism lately and it’s all about hope and love. To me, faith is about having a clean slate and a clean start.”
Expressing a desire to be religiously literate apparently puts one “out of step with the core country audience.” I went to Catholic school. We were assigned books about Buddhism. Buddhism is a major world religion, and if you’re a person who takes religion seriously, you should probably be educated about it.
As for the “I think all religions have a good practice in them,” well, that’s no different than what the Catholic Church teaches, at least. And most mainline Protestant denominations generally articulate the same line that non-Christian religions are imperfect expressions of humankind’s relationship with God. Cyrus isn’t saying anything here that most Christian ministers wouldn’t also say.
What Miley has that others don’t though, is a father who can get her through the Nashville gauntlet and into the club without paying any real dues. While it is nearly inevitable that she will one day take advantage of a country music plan B, the problem is that she could be a corrupting, left-leaning, influence on an industry that so many liberal elites want to see taken out of the “red state” column.
It should be obvious to anyone that country music is hardly the sole purview of strict conservative values, but I won’t belabor a point that’s been well-documented elsewhere. What funniest to me is that Brian Cherry is actually worried about the political implications of Miley Cyrus.