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Don’t Ask Me, I’m Just a Girl

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fetish-1I haven’t been posting as frequently the last week or two.  Largely because, whenever I visit Big Hollywood, I’m bored to death,  not moved to the laughter, or the anger, or the smug sense of moral and intellectual superiority, or any other things that are necessary for the maintenance of a crappy wordpress blog entirely about another crappy blog.  

So I humbly request that Big Hollywood invite National Review Online’s K-Lo over more often.  Her post deserves to be quoted in full:

“Angels & Demons” upset me.

But not for the reason you may think.

The new movie, based on the Dan Brown book of the same title, is, of course, full of nonsense. But most of it I expected.

The boots, I didn’t.

I know that the Vatican didn’t grant Ron Howard and his team all of the access they wanted. But after seeing the movie, I wonder if anyone having to do with the film even went to Rome. Or, more specifically, if any women associated with the movie went to Rome.

I was in Rome last year with a group of women. Our group was lead by a priest you’d love to walk you through life. But there was one issue he couldn’t fully appreciate: Shoes.

When we got latched onto a real expert on this front, we asked the important question: How do you do it? These streets are not made for walking in heels.

“You don’t wear heels,” she replied.

This is unheard of for the 5′4” among us.

And so the most ridiculous aspect of the new movie “Angels & Demons” for any woman who has tried looking taller on the streets of is watching actress Ayelet Zurer walking and running through the streets of the Eternal City wearing stiletto boots. In reality, the heels on those boots would be destroyed before she could hit her second church, and that’s saying something in a city full of them.

I’m no expert, but I have tried and failed. Heck, I wrecked shoes in Georgetown this weekend and running the “Exorcist” stairs to the cobblestone on M Street is no comparison to the damage Rome will do to Jimmy Choos – well, or Nine West.

All it’s missing is a giant fucking “TEE HEE!” at the end.  Or perhaps a Palin-style wink.  

Thanks for the hard-hitting reporting from the  front lines of your shitty vacation with a Catholic tour group that probably included my grandma and all her bridge homies.  Criticism just ain’t what it used to be.

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Written by dieblucasdie

May 19, 2009 at 7:32 am

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