Andrew Breitbart: Mall Cop

Cow Towing to Other Countries

Please, Can We Move On to the Next Crappy Meme, Already?

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i-would-rather-be-golfing-bumper-stickers-783004Sigh.  I’m getting too old for this shit.  Big Hollywood is just going to keep harping on the DHS rightwing extremist threat assessment aren’t they?

John Simpson ain’t Erasmus, and his satire today (which, characteristically, isn’t really a satire at all, but a pouty-faced exercise in passive-aggression) focuses on the douchiest form of political speech: the bumper sticker.

First, Right-Wing Extremists are often known to display their radical sympathies on bumper stickers. This could be as simple a matter as a Confederate flag on a pickup truck, but often involves stated extremist messages like ABORTION KILLS, BABIES ARE NOT SPARE PARTS (they are), and ADOPTION: THE CARING OPTION (it isn’t, spare parts is).

In this instance, it is best to keep a safe distance and follow the unsub’s vehicle, to where fellow right-wing extremists of like mind are no doubt plotting their next abortion clinic massacre.

In the case of bumper stickers like I’D RATHER BE TRIED BY TWELVE THAN CARRIED BY SIX, or I’LL GIVE YOU MY GUN WHEN YOU TAKE IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS, once again, keep a safe distance and follow the unsub’s vehicle to the Timothy McVeigh-influenced militia group of which they are a part.

If you see bumper stickers such as WHAT PART OF ILLEGAL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, AMNESTY SUCKS or SPEAK ENGLISH, these messages indicate strong nationalist, and most likely racist, tendencies of the unsubs driving these vehicles.

Actually, they do indicate nationalism pretty clearly.

I’ve already covered the completely, utterly innocuous DHS publication that started all this pearl-clutching, so I won’t rehash that here, except to make one small point that I haven’t yet.  


Though you may encounter some extremist-appearing bumper stickers like KILL BUSH, NO BLOOD FOR OIL, WHO WOULD JESUS TORTURE, WAR IS NOT PRO-LIFE, LA RAZA, BILL AYERS IS THE BOMB or bumper stickers that bear the Aztlan or ‘reconquista’ emblem, ignore them.

Now, this all started thanks to a Washington Times piece that John Romano linked to.  The Times is Breitbart’s employer, and, clearly, no bastion of mamby-pamby liberalism.  Even the Times, though, freely admits that DHS does, in fact, release threat assessments on left-wing extremist groups as well.

In January, the same DHS office released a report titled “Leftwing extremists likely to increase use of cyber attacks over the coming decade.”

“These types of reports are published all the time. There have actually been some done on the other end of the spectrum, left-wing,” Ms. Kuban said.

So, you know, not only have Simpson, Romano, and Jena not read the actual report they are hyperventilating about, they haven’t even read the entire Washington Times red-meat piece about it.


One Response

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  1. Like Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi said in ED WOOD, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”

    Much obliged 🙂

    John T. Simpson

    April 26, 2009 at 9:51 am

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