Andrew Breitbart: Mall Cop

Cow Towing to Other Countries

A Spot of the Ol’ Ultraviolence

with 2 comments

mt1112830159Steven Crowder offers a stirring apologia for solving problems with your fists

 When my kid comes home with his first bully problem, I won’t be leaving him ill-prepared for the world by giving him the old sissified, “Well, you need to use your words” speech. I’ll lay it down for him bluntly (as my dad did for me and as all parents should):

“Listen, son. You can go tell your teachers, but they won’t do very much and the kid’s probably just going to bully you even more. The same goes for the school Principal and the PTA. What you need to do, is walk right up to that punk, and punch him in the nose as hard as you possibly can. Now come, let me teach you a couple of take-downs.”

Preaching the wonders of properly-employed use of force to our kids is not only honest… It’s our duty in preparing them for the real world. If you think I’m wrong… Well, you’re probably a pansy, so what do I care?

I feel really, really sorry for this guy’s kids.  Their father will have the dude from Yes, Dear‘s parenting philosophy and Ryan Seacrest’s hair.  Fuck.  

And what’s up with the Hobbesian world-view?  If violence is truly the only real currency, then why the fuck are we bothering with civilization?

Listen, violence freed the slaves, took down the axis of evil and still manages to fix every remote control that I’ve ever owned. More recently, the use of force quickly brought an end to the escapades of a few Somali jackasses. Three shots fired, three men dead… And there was much rejoicing. To those of you still teaching the “violence doesn’t solve problems” myth to your kids… What are you thinking? Does anyone out there truly believe this insane rhetoric?

Does Steven Crowder even realize that two of the three members of the axis of evil are still doing quite well?  And if he was in favor of violence to “free the slaves,” then clearly he’d be on the side of black militants in the ’60s, right?

And then there’s this

Does anyone here honestly think that “Seung-Hi Choi” went on his Virginia-Tech shooting spree after getting fired up at an NRA rally? 

He put scare-quotes around the dude’s fucking name.  Look at all those vowels!  These liberals think this constitutes a proper name!

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Written by dieblucasdie

April 15, 2009 at 5:55 am

2 Responses

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  1. […] I’ve already wasted much of my precious youth documenting the various ways in which Big Hollywood’s Steven […]

  2. […] around benign words and phrases to make them sound bad (though not as awesome as the time Crowder put scare quotes around the Virginia Tech shooter’s […]


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