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17762Orson Bean is just not a very strong writer.  There’s no reason he should be; he’s only a Big Hollywood contributor thanks to his family connection (he’s Breitbart’s father-in-law) and the fact that he’s a useful mascot (he was blacklisted as a Communist in the ’50s before going all Horowitz a few years back).  So I almost feel bad for him when once every couple of weeks he posts a book report.  

Nothing prepared me, though, for the brilliance of [Mark Levin’s] new book, “Liberty and Tyranny.” The title is taken from a quote of Abraham Lincoln’s, which he features on the book’s back cover. What knocked me out though, was the sub-title: “A Conservative Manifesto.” I’d never heard the word used apart from Marx’s Communist Manifesto. (Well, there was the Uni-bomber.) 

Rather than address the obvious lack of historical perspective, the creepy Founding-Fathers fetishism, or Levin’s absolutely hilarious co-optation of anarchist rhetoric (it blows Bean’s mind when Levin calls liberals “Statists”), I’m just going to pick on the title:  “Mark Levin:  The Thomas Paine of Our Time.”

Has Bean ever read any Thomas Paine?  The most charitable explanation I can come up with is that Andrew Breitbart once summarized Common Sense for him over Miller Lite and Domino’s.

Orson Bean’s claim-to-fame as a conservative writer is a book he wrote about becoming a Christian.  Paine, possibly the hardest-core deist of all time, wrote The Age Reason all about how stupid he thought Christianity was. 

From “How Orson Bean Found God”

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have an empty spot at the center of him, which must be filled in order to be really happy. That spot, like it or not, is reserved for God, and if you decide you are going to be lastingly happy

From “An Emptiness Only the Holy Spirit Can Fill” by Orson Bean:

The reason I became a Christian is the same reason I became a conservative: I paid attention. I watched to see what worked. If a loving Creator designed the whole mishbooker, it all makes sense. If it happened by accident and coincidence (quadrillions of coincidences), it’s nuts. So, I felt the urge to write about it, to share the so-called Good News.

God is being siphoned out of the public arena. People don’t even say God bless you when you sneeze anymore. I want to be able to lay a Merry Christmas on someone without its feeling like a political statement.

I think God loves to hear little kids laugh at fart jokes. He didn’t just make sunsets and bluebirds, He made hot babes. And dirty old men like me. That’s the modest message I’ve set out to tell the world: you don’t have to be Ned Flanders to be a Christian.

From The Age of Reason:

All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.

From “An Emptiness Only the Holy Spirit Can Fill”

I know this sounds a little nuts to a lot of people. But what doesn’t, when you stop to think about it? Science now pretty much accepts the idea of the Big Bang theory. At a certain point, fifteen billion years ago, an infinitesimal speck of something or other somehow came into being. It exploded and within a few seconds, everything needed to create the entire universe appeared, including time and space. Is that crazy or what? But science says it’s true.

From The Age of Reason

It is a fraud of the Christian system to call the sciences human invention; it is only the application of them that is human. Every science has for its basis a system of principles as fixed and unalterable as those by which the universe is regulated and governed. Man cannot make principles, he can only discover them.

 

 

 

 

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Written by dieblucasdie

April 6, 2009 at 4:44 pm

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